The Internet
by 801-addict
Summary: Tatsuha has gone to the srore to buy something, leaving ryuichi alone. LE GASP! Bored, the popstar finds a way to entertain himself, but finds out something hed rather not know about kumagoro. mild Tats x Ryu, but not really.


Kirai: here's my second Gravitation story.

Tatsuha: she wrote this all during her Computer class.

Kirai: cuz I have no life.

Tatsuha: Exactly.

Kirai: shaddup. Anyways, FAN-fiction, you get the picture, don't ya? I don't own 'The Internet is for Porn' by Avenue Q either.

Ryuichi: now, enjoy!!!!

The Internet Is For Porn

"Love you Tats-chaaaaaaaaaan!!!!" a certain brunette/ green haired man yelled as his monk lover walked out the door of their house to buy groceries.

"Love you too, Ryu. Don't touch anything mechanical while I'm gone. You know what happened with the dishwasher." Tatsuha answered back before shutting the door. Ryuichi, the lead singer to legendary band, Nittle Grasper ran into the bedroom and grabbed Kumagoro.

"Ne, Kuma-chan, what should we do, na no da?" he asked his pink best friend and ran to the living room. "Hmm, Tats-chan said nothing electronic, so that rules out half the stuff we could do, na no da."

The thirty-one year old pop star sighed and sat down on the luxurious couch and threw a tiny tantrum.

"gah!! Nothing to do!!! I'm bored, bored, bored, na no da!!!!!" he complained, flailing his arms around like a hungry two-year old. "I wish I could go on the internet," he whined, then, a light bulb dimmed over his pretty little head. He ran to his room faster than Shuichi at a strawberry pocky shop and grabbed some of his stuffed animals and a dry erase board.

---------------------------------------------gravitation--------------------------------------------------

"Finally!!! I get to teach a whole lesson, all by my self!!!" Ryuichi said happily as he placed Kumagoro with his three friends, Usagi-chan, Hato-chan, Inu-chan, and Neko-chan on the couch and set up the board in front of them, beginning his game of school.

"and I'm gonna teach something modern, something relevant!! The internet!!!" he stated, writing 'Internet' on the board in a messy flourish. _Hmm, this is boring. I should sing, better. _He thought, and grabbed the microphone from the karaoke machine Tatsuha got him for Christmas.

"The internet is really, really great!" he sang.

"For porn!" a voice interrupted him. He looked around, recognizing the voice but continuing.

"I've got a fast connection, so I don't have to wait!"

"for porn!"

"There's always some new site,"

"for porn!"

"I browse all day and night,"

"for porn!"

"it's like I'm surfing at the speed of light,"

"for porn!!!"

"Kuma!!!" he whined and pouted at his friend for interrupting him, but Kumagoro ignored him and continued.

"The internet is for porn!!"

"Kuma!!!"

"The internet is for porn!!"

"what are you doing?!?!"

"Why you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn!!!"

Ryuichi stared at his stuffed animal in shock that he would say such things.

"Kuma!" he yelled to get the bunny's attention.

"Oh hello ryu-sama." He answered innocently.

"You are ruining my song!!!!" the man complained.

"Oh, I'm sorry, me no mean to." Kumagoro stated plainly.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind please, being quiet for a minute so I can finish?" Ryuichi muttered and got back to his lesson.

"Me no talkie."

"good."

"I'm glad we have this new technology."

"For porn"

"Which gives us untold opportunity."

"For por—oops sorry.""

Ryuichi glared at his best friend, yet again.

"Right from your own desktop"

"For p—Kumagoro froze from the look.

"You can research, browse, and shop."

"…" Ryuichi gave a self satisfied smirk.

"Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop."

"For porn!!!"

"KUMA!!!"

"the internet is for porn, the internet is for porn, be up all night honking me horn to porn porn porn!!" Ryuichi twitched.

"That's gross!!! You're a pervert!!!"

"Ah, sticks and stones ryu-sama."

"No really, you're a pervert!!!" The pop star protested. "Normal people don't sit at home watching porn on the internet!!!" Kumagoro had an evil glint in his eye.

"Oh, really? Ready normal people?"

"ready!" Usagi-chan yelled.

"ready!" neko-chan yelled.

"ready!" inu-chan yelled.

"lemme hear it! The internet is for porn."

"sorry ryu." Neko-chan said apologetically

"the internet is for porn"

"I masturbate!"

"all these guys unzip their flys to porn porn porn!"

"the internet is NOT for porn"

"PORN PORN PO—"

Hold on a second!!!!" Ryuichi had enough. He pointed at Neko-chan.

"Now I know for a fact that you, Neko, check your portfolio and trade stocks online" he said.

"That's correct." The stuffed cat pointed out. Ryuichi pointed to Inu.

"And Inu, you buy things on Amazon dot com!!!" he said.

"Sure!" agreed the dog plushie.

"and, Hato, you keep selling your possessions on EBay." The pop star said, sweatdropping.

"Yes I do!!" the bird exclaimed happily, making everyone else sweatdrop as well.

"And Usagi, you bought me that sweet online birthday card." He said, smiling to the blue bunny next to Kumagoro.

"true." He said simply, still creeped out by Hatori.

"Oh, but Ryuichi--What you think he do . . . after? hmm?" Kumagoro asked mischievously.

"Yeah…" Usagi admitted.

"EWWW!!!!"

"the internet is for porn!!!"

"gross!!!"

"the internet is for porn!!!"

"I hate porn!!!"

"So grab your dick and double click for porn..."

""I hate men!!!!" Ryuichi yelled at them, putting aside the fact that one, they were plushies, and two, he was dating Tatsuha, a man... of sorts.

"...porn porn" they began harmonizing. "porn porn porn porn"

"I'm leaving!!!!" the 31 year old pop star yelled, heading for the door.

"porn porn porn…"

"I HATE the internet!!!"  
"porn porn porn!!! The internet is for…" Kumagoro sang by himself.  
"the internet is for…" Usagi and Hatori joined in.

"The internet is for PORN!!!" they all yelled.

"Yeah!!!" the pink bunny exclaimed as Ryuichi stomped out into the hallway, bumping into Tatsuha. He automatically glomped his lover's waist and started crying like a baby.

"waahh!!! Tats-chan!!! K-Kuma turned i-into a big pervert a-and sang about p-porn and and and—waaahhhh!!!" he yelled out, making the monk go momentarily deaf. Tatsuha looked over to the living room, where five stuffed animals sat there, looking innocent enough, on the couch, facing a whiteboard. He promised himself to have a talk with Tohma about giving Ryuichi too much sugar before he gets home from work.

"don't worry Ryu, I'll give Kumagoro a nice long talk about what is acceptable to say, okay?" he asked giving Ryuichi a kiss on the nose. "Now… let me make it a whole lot better." He said with a sadistic smile on his face. The Grasper smiled and led the way, pausing to look at Kumagoro once more before heading toward the bedroom.

Later that day, as he sat on the couch, he had forgotten about what happened earlier, instead, throwing Kumagoro up in the air. As for Tatsuha, he was washing dishes so that his honey wouldn't have to; he thought he heard a voice say,

"Our time will come again…" but maybe it was just the wind.

Kirai: well, that was totally pointless

Ryuichi: Kumagoro says he had fun.

Tatsuha: that sucked, I was barely around with my honey, Ryuichi.

Kirai: yeah, yeah quit complaining. At least you were here in the end.

Ryuichi: anyways, the usual, R & R!!!

Tatsuha: -picks up Ryuichi bridal style- and now…

Kirai: get a room, you two.

Tatsuha: -runs to Kirai's room and shuts the door-

Kirai: um… Ja-ne!! –Hops into the vents with a camera-


End file.
